On learning, bats, and my explosive potential

Things I have learned in the last month:

1.) I have the hearing of a bat. A bat prodigy. An insomniac bat prodigy with an extraordinary gift for identifying sounds through a ceiling. If there is ever a game show wherein you win large sums of money by being able to recognize the sound of a laptop opening fourteen feet above your head, I am going to make that Jeopardy guy look like a punk.

2.) "Laptop" is a cruel misnomer. I have not yet found a comfortable desk-free position for my ancient laptop that does not involve either: a.) the laptop's burning hot cancer-causing hot spot burning my leg, b.) several creatively placed pillows which get rid of the hot spot but unfortunately make me look as though I've built a fort around my midsection, which I have, c.) my arm/leg/ass falling asleep and not being able to type because I'm lying on my side on the bed like internet Cleopatra, or d.) all of the above, in the same twenty minute span.

3.) Saying, oh, I can't leave my job because I'm so committed to our mission is a lot easier that actually not leaving your job because you're so committed to the mission, even though you might do more damage to the mission yourself when you finally go critical and blow the building up with your own mind.

4.) Despite it being my fondest wish for the last two years, cable is actually pretty lame most of the time. Unless, I suppose, you either have seven or more children, a billion dollars and a fierce need for home remodelling, or you're ten. Then it's probably really awesome most of the time, and only lame when I want to watch something

5.) I refuse to accept that anyone is my friend unless they take me firmly by the shoulders, look me directly in the eye, and say, in a loud, clear voice, "Emily. I like you. I'm not joking." Until this takes place I am convinced they hate me. This has proved inconvenient.